Phantom returns to the West End

Phantom returns to the West End

Phantom2
As I write this, its 1911 on Wednesday. In London%u2019s Haymarket, home to theatre and Opera Houses, a spectre may be about to materialise in a new form.

New opera-tunities

The spectre of monetising digital media has haunted many people. Especially the viewers of Richard and Judy

Oxygen8 is, legend has it, the new guise for a company that lost its name under tragic circumstances. Could this be The Phantom of the Opera?

With a flash of light, the audience is flung back in time, when the Opera was at its height.

Act I

We are thrust in the middle of an Opera pitch being made to a TV company, Genetically Modified TV. They’re not greedy, just ‘committed to our stakeholders’.

In this fictional account, Monsieur Le Square-Specs, Opera’s marketing manager, is showing the new managers, Monsieurs Yurgen Furcough and Andy Tover, how to use their great stage (AKA television) to maximise income.

Cue: A song in praise of SMS texting, and cutting competitions short while mug punters continue to spend a pound a minute.

But tragedy is lurking in the wings. As the prima donna, Judy, starts to sing, the audience participation crashes. Only the premium rate phone lines survive, while the audience hopes of winning a cash prize are brutally crushed.

The cry is raised, "It's The Phantom of the Opera!" Upset, Judy refuses to emote, reasoning that it ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

The Phantom continues to appear, as audiences enter competitions they have no chance of winning. A woman is lured into the bowels of the Opera House, where the Phantom will continue her lessons in ‘maximisng income streams’.

As the Phantom becomes more successful, complacency sets in. While playing on its organ, the Phantom’s mask is ripped off, by the hero, Panorama.

ENTER STAGE LEFT, A GREY MAN IN A POLYESTER SUIT, KNOWN AS OFCOM

Forced to act, the feckless official OFCOM levies a superficial blow on the monster. Though the fine hardly hurts the Phantom, the Oxygen of bad publicity leaves him reeling. So Opera is no more.

Act II

In the Haymarket Hotel.

We see a new spectre, with a new face, emerging in a room in the Haymarket Hotel. It is announced as Oxygen8.

But what will happen?

But will fans oxygen8 it?

Phantom

We really should be monetising digital media!

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